Gray Matters back in the swing

Hi Rowers,
Well have I been busy (getting married).
First of all we had the Winter Olympics and Nicole had me up all night each night recording the Australian team to assess and monitor with the aim of recruiting, full thighed people for rowing in the warmer months to increase our chances of regatta wins and save us from having to provide our bling hungry members with medals for attendance and adhering to dress code.
I also had to scan the crowd for Martin’s childhood friends and report back on their levels of baldness and podginess. A very exhausting XXI Olympiad or extra extra tiring Olympics for poor old PANS. To top this off I had to go to Wagga for the World Rowing PA Olympiad Games (fortunately nice and handy this year, not in Ghana as per 09) where I competed in events such as boss’s Zootie care, PA who had secured most attractive delivery drivers, PA who had purchased the most amount of alcohol for the least amount of money, A stop the clock event – Fixing your own photocopier, and a new event, a fashion parade with items of clothing collected from your team’s river.
Thanks to my intense preparation I was able to take out Gold in Zootie Care, Platinum in Delivery Drivers (we have 14 and a lifetime supply of biscuits, toilet paper, cat food, dishwater tablets and curtain rods), lost out completely to Corowa, Barwon, and the Alco’s from Nagambie and Hamilton as it had not occurred to me to use cleaning products in the Christmas punch.
 The nerds from Melbourne took out the photocopier event, though one more kick and mine would have gotten going, the fashion parade was fantastic, I must say I looked (if not smelt) fantastic. Again Gold.
So anyway, Simon (man not boat just stopped in) needed me to let out the waist on his zootie, he pointed out to me that we have some regatta’s coming up.
REGATTA’s
That’s what we’re all about.
Sydney – 10/11 April – Seems to be some rowing happening there, and let’s face it will be warmer than down here, they have more shops though you will need to take your camel pack to the bars or face ordering drinks you have never heard of ad forgoing any necessary dental procedures for the next 10 years as you won’t have the cash. Because its’ so far away we should be in with an excellent chance for an early morning too :o)
Training has begun and the men’s crews are going like steam trains. Sign up now by sending Simon an email (simon_crunden@hotmail.com).
Footscray this weekend (lock your car and don’t talk football)
Finally the Mildura Easter regatta is on again – if we can have at least four rowers of a single sex interested in going. Nicole will make sure you have boats to row and coxes to steer. Let your coaches know asap. We all know the Easter Bunny lives in Northern Victoria, so it’s the best time of year to visit, nothing like an Easter egg with some Mildura almonds and oranges before a regatta.
CASHOLA
We’re doing lots of fundraising for our new fleet (sounds like a lot but it’s probably only one boat, but hey you can only row one at a time) … Stay tuned for an announcement of a shiny New acquisition to the RRC fleet. Think of how much Orlando would like a new brother or sister. (Last year thanks to fundraising, and the B team going up 3 dress sizes from very successful chocolate purchases err sales we managed to acquire Orlando, sculling oars and double riggers).
Contribute by coming to our Trivia night – this Saturday, bring friends! Entry $20 and there will be an auction and prizes for best decorated table. If decorating table bring food or your fishing rod (and has anyone even seen those guys catch anything, maybe one of those scary bluebottle things might taste better than it looks)! The function is BYO.
Or contribute by eating and selling Chocolates – easy!! order forms are available at the club. Sell lots of chocolates to your co-workers! Forms are due back on March 24th to your coaches or black secretary mailbox. Susie, Rochelle, Karen, Karin are running this with Jo consulting 🙂
Or if you’re scared or the dark, don’t know a thing and are on a diet, then contribute via the Australian sports foundation (ASF) fleet fund – get a form from the club and make a tax deductible donation. It’s a form and you give cash.
Otherwise we’ll make you row the Bob Stanley, or the one that looks like a floating cubby house.
From Friday night, Australian Sports Foundation Fleet Donation order forms are available at the club, near the black secretary’s mailbox.
To drum it in, ok, read carefully penny pinchers here are some cold hard facts about the ruthless rowing world. One of the reasons that fleet fundraising is so crucial this year, is that marine safety regulations are changing and with that the standards for boat buoyancy. We and the rest of the rowing clubs in Victoria do not know what this means for our fleet, but most of our older boats are non-compliant and may not be rowable. So, there is a big push to get new fleet into the Shed that does meet these safety regulation. Or you’ll be on an ergo tied to a raft, wearing floaties and a helmet with Justin cycling along the bank ready to rescue you.
CAMP
Camp was a blast…good food and great crews…thanks Mike and Nicole for organising. Had almost 50 rowers down training for masters Sydney or personal improvement. The star of camp was Mike Numa who catered on awesome lasagne dinner on fri and breakfast and lunch on sat.
Rumour has it that Mike may be organising a regular Thursday night pasta night catered by the RRC single guys – so everyone offer your support and encouragement of this worthy institution.
TUBBY GRAY
PANT (PA to Nicoles Tudka, previously PA to JK until she was transferred to the Sydney North Oar Rowing Team and now makes the lives of the SNORT’s a living hell up there)

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